


Never Say Goodbye

by tonks42



Category: Glee
Genre: Gun Violence, Klaine Reversebang, M/M, School Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 14:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonks42/pseuds/tonks42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the unthinkable happens at McKinley, Blaine must find a way to keep holding on for himself and for Kurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: This fic deals with gun violence within a high school setting including injuries to major characters and medical situations that are probably highly inaccurate.
> 
> Thank you so much to freakingpotter for the amazing artwork that this is based on.
> 
> Thank you to tchrgleek for being the speediest beta ever (and the first I've ever worked with. Thanks for breaking me in gently.

 

Finals were fast approaching for all the students of McKinley High. The seniors seemed to be taking a rather more relaxed stance to them. After all, their college applications were long since done and turned in. Blaine didn't have that leisure though, not as a junior. He needed to get top grades on his finals to keep the grade point average he wanted.

One of the conditions Blaine had set down with his parents when they agreed to let him transfer schools at the start of the year was that he would improve his GPA. He'd gotten good grades at Dalton, but they all knew classes were easier at McKinley. A diploma from McKinley was already going to look less prestigious than one from Dalton, so he needed straight A's to make up for it, in his father's mind at least.

Most of the time, Blaine wasn't bothered by that requirement. He really did like school. Taking honors classes and earning good grades in them was well within his ability. Today, though, Blaine was wishing that an A- on a final wouldn't be such a big deal. Not when he could be spending time singing with his boyfriend instead of studying. Kurt had invited him to bring his lunch to the auditorium to work on a duet they were considering for a glee club assignment. Despite how much he wanted to spend all his waking minutes with Kurt, far too aware of how few of them could be left before his boyfriend was in another state, Blaine found himself spending his lunch period in the library instead with his Trig book and notes spread out on the table in front of him.

* * *

 

Blaine looked up from his math textbook at the sound of the chair next to him being pulled back. "Kurt!" He greeted with a cheerful tone, careful to keep the volume of his voice down in the library.

"We do have a study date, do we not?" Kurt teased, his volume equally matched to the location. "I've heard that I shouldn't let my grades slip just because I'm going to graduate soon."

Blaine reached out to grab Kurt's hand, giving it a squeeze. More than anything, he wanted to lean over and kiss his boyfriend, but he knew Kurt wouldn't be comfortable with that level of PDA at the school. In all honesty, Blaine wouldn't either. Not at McKinley. At Dalton, he wouldn't have been afraid to just grab Kurt's face and plant a kiss on his lips, but he wasn't at Dalton anymore. "You listened. You heard what I had to say."

"I did. I may be stubborn sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm not listening." Kurt responded, giving Blaine's hand a squeeze right back before he opened his bag, pulling out his own math textbook. "So, it's math day?"

"It is for me. I really do like my math teacher, but I'm not a fan of the fact that he's giving us a chapter test so close to finals." Blaine glanced down at his notes then over into his boyfriend's eyes. "I have to do well, if I want to have my choice of colleges in New York. I can't imagine not wanting to go to college in the same city as you. Whether we end up at the same school or not, we'd still be able to spend time together if I'm at least in the city."

"You'll get there. Just don't burn yourself out in the process." Kurt advised. "Study hard, but have fun with high school. It's going to be over before you know it. I still can't believe that I'm about to graduate. To actually get out of this place."

* * *

 

A few minutes later, Kurt's head shot up from his math book at a loud series of noise in the distance. "What was that?" He asked across the table.

Blaine just shrugged, his own math notes abandoned as he looked around. "Maybe some senior decided that this was a good time for a prank? Kind of sounded like someone decided to shoot off fireworks in the court-" Blaine's voice fell silent out of habit as the beep of the intercom turning on.

The message was short and to the point, but it was one Blaine had never expected to actually hear. "We are now in a hard lockdown. I repeat, we are now in a hard lockdown situation. This is not a drill." Blaine's heart caught in his chest as the librarian hit the light switch, leaving the entire library in shadows  created only by the thin light streaming in from the blinds and the florescent emergency light near the door.

He was pulled out of his frozen state by Kurt tugging on his hand. "Get down, Blaine. We have to find somewhere to hide!" Kurt whispered up, pulling Blaine out of his seat and down onto the floor. They were much too far back in the library to help the librarian block the doors. The video half the kids in his class had made fun of at the start of the year flashed back into Blaine's mind. Hard lockdown. A danger already inside the building. They had to find a place to hide where they couldn't be seen from the doors or windows.

Blaine's mind was still clouded by panic, stuck in repeat on what he'd heard from that damn video, but he yanked on Kurt's hand anyway, pulling the other teen silently toward a nearby section of bookcases, wedging the two of them down into the corner where two bookshelves met.

He fervently wished that the loudest sound he heard was the rasp of his breath, and of Kurt's beside him. Until that moment, Blaine had never realized just how loud simple breathing could be. The loud popping noises Blaine had originally mistaken for fireworks continued sporadically. In that moment, it felt like hours between each shot, but Blaine knew that was impossible.

His mind was paralyzed with worry. The rest of New Directions were out there in the school. At this point in the day, most of them were probably in the cafeteria or courtyard, unless they'd taken lunch into the choir room. Wouldn't those be the most likely places for the gunman to have gone?

He tried to control his shaking, pressing his body up against Kurt's as the noises no longer seemed to be so far away. "I love you." He turned his head to whisper into Kurt's ear.

"Do not give up on me, Blaine Anderson." Kurt whispered back, steel in his voice. "We are going to make it through this."

"I hope so. I want that to be true. But if not, I want my last words to be telling you how much I love you. Forever." Blaine's tone shook as he pressed his cheek to Kurt's so that he could whisper as quietly as possible into his boyfriend's ear.

"I am not ever saying goodbye to you, Blaine. We promised." Kurt reminded in a whisper of his own before his tone went softer. "But I love you. God, I love you so much."

The glass window in the door shattering might have been the loudest noise Blaine had ever heard in his life. Or at least the loudest after the roar of his heartbeat in his ears. There was a shot and a scream from closer to the entrance to the library, and Blaine reacted on instinct, pulling Kurt closer to him, trying to wedge them into the place that was the most protected by the bookshelves.

Blaine could feel Kurt's breath on his neck as the clomp of footsteps came closer and closer. "I love you." He mouthed staring at the pair of boot clad feet that came around the stacks. Try as he might, Blaine couldn't bring himself to look up to see exactly who was holding the gun, or to watch the barrel of the gun itself. He didn't think it would help to see cold eyes or hate filled eyes. If this was his end, he wanted to think instead of the person he was clinging to. The phrase time slowing down had never seemed so appropriate.

The gun went off with another lout retort and pain blossomed through his shoulder. Pain ripped through his heart as well as the shot, or something else, knocked him aside. Kurt! He was supposed to protect Kurt, not be laying here stunned on the ground while more shots echoed out. Kurt!

Something kept him from moving, though. He knew, somehow, that if he went for Kurt, there might be another gunshot destined for him. Instead, he played possum, losing himself in the pain radiating from his shoulder down to his fingertips as he waited. The footsteps faded away, and he turned his head, cautiously opening his eyes to look over to Kurt.

Oh God. Oh God. He could not be watching the love of his life die beside him. He refused. As soon as he was sure the killer had left the library, Blaine pulled himself up by sheer will. His right arm was refusing to cooperate with anything he tried to do, but the sheer surge of adrenaline helped him push through the pain to lean over Kurt, letting the training from that first aid class he'd taken kick in.

Breath sounds. Check. Kurt's breath whistled in a way that couldn't be normal, but it was there. What was the next thing? Circulation. Pulse. Yes. There it was. Kurt was unconscious, but he still had a pulse. Blaine sank down onto his heels, glancing around the library. He felt like he was stuck on autopilot, but he gave in to it, following instinct to grab the cardigan he'd hung over the back of his chair and press it down, with the arm he could still get to work, into the pool of blood staining the stomach of Kurt's shirt. Kurt would be mad to realize he'd ruined one of Kurt's favorites, Blaine thought quickly, before he realized the absurdity of that.

"Kurt. You are not allowed to die." He whispered fiercely. "I love you too much. You told me not to stop fighting so you damn well better not either. Oh God. You can even leave me for New York, just be here to leave me."

Blaine wasn't really sure how long he babbled on in a similar vein before he was interrupted by the crackle of radio calls as one of the police officers he hadn't even heard enter the room knelt down beside him. "Son? I'm Officer Daniels. It's all over. You're safe now."

Safe. But they weren't. Not while his hand was covered in Kurt's blood. "Officer?" He blinked. Police. Police were there to help. His shell shocked mind started to really register that. "Kurt. Help Kurt."

The man knelt down beside him, not moving the cardigan off of Kurt's side. Instead he reached down to feel for the unconscious boy's pulse. "Is this Kurt?" He asked over before he grabbed for his radio. "We need paramedics in the library. I have at least one code red and multiple code yellows."

Blaine blinked his eyes trying to clear away the fog that was setting in. "Yes. He's Kurt. He can't- he can't leave me." Blaine's voice cracked as he spoke.

"The paramedics are coming. They're going to help him, I promise. You stay right here with him for now." The cop said in his best soothing voice.

It wasn't much time at all before two paramedics were pushing a gurney into the library, packs over their shoulders. One of them froze by the door, looking back behind the desk. "This can't be our red?" He asked with a gulp.

"No. I think- she's not priority right now. God rest her soul." The police officer stood from Kurt's side. "Back here. We have two teenage males. Kurt, gunshot wounds to the chest and abdomen. And, what is your name, kid?"

Blaine sank down on his heels with relief at the sight of the paramedics. They had to be able to save Kurt. It wasn't just his responsibility now to keep his love breathing. Not anymore. The police officer had to repeat his question before Blaine blinked up at him. "I- my name is Blaine."

With a quick bit of silent communication one of the paramedics knelt down by Kurt to start assessing him as the other sunk down on his haunches in front of Blaine. "Blaine. Let me check you over."

Blaine stared into the paramedics face. His brain felt so fuzzy. There was some reason this was wrong, though. "But, Kurt. Kurt needs you. I'm fine."

The paramedics exchanged a look as the one in front of Blaine lifted his hand, asking Blaine to track his finger. "We're taking care of him. I promise. But I need to help you, too." He opened his kit using a pair of trauma sheers to cut the shirt away from Blaine's shoulder, moving behind him to check for an exit wound. He grabbed his radio with one hand as he pulled gauze pads out of his bag with the second. "We need another gurney in the library." The paramedic crouched down, shielding Blaine's view of whatever they were doing to Kurt. "I'm going to put some pressure on this to stop the bleeding and get your arm in a sling."

Blaine just stared at the paramedic for a moment. He'd almost forgotten in all of this that he'd been shot as well. The reminder brought a blast of pain back into the focus of his cotton filled brain. He bit his lip, groaning against the pain as the other man finished up with his arm. "Sorry, kid. We'll get you to the hospital soon, and they should be able to give you something to take the edge off of that." The paramedic glanced over at his partner and the police officer who had rejoined them to assist after he finished going through the library for others in need of help. "Switch me? Keep an eye on the tough guy here and let me know if anything changes." The man insisted, moving to help get Kurt up on a gurney ready for transfer. "We'll make sure someone is on their way back for you."

* * *

 

Blaine must have blacked out at some point because he remembered Kurt being wheeled out of the library, but the next thing he knew, he was surrounded by bright lights with a woman in scrubs leaning over him. "Blaine? Are you with me?" She asked, noticing his cracked open brown eyes.

Blaine licked his dry lips. "Where am I?" He asked before it all crashed back down on him. The shooter. The fear. The fire in his shoulder. Kurt. "Kurt. Where's Kurt? I need Kurt."

A different younger woman leaned over him, pressing down on his uninjured shoulder to keep Blaine from trying to sit up. "Relax. You're okay. You're in the hospital, at Lima Memorial. I'll go check on Kurt for you. You let Dr. Martin help you." At Blaine's shaky nod, the woman moved away only to freeze as the doctor spoke up.

"Your friend Kurt was my last patient." Dr. Martin said. "He beat you here. He's up in surgery right now, with an excellent surgeon. Now it's your turn to let me help you." Blaine sank back onto the bed. Surgery. You only had surgery if you were still alive. Kurt had to be still alive. "We need to get a portable X-ray in here." The doctor commanded, as she examined the bullet wound.

"I'll grab it." The other woman was already half way out the door after all.

Another nurse finished setting up an I.V. in Blaine's arm. "One liter of O-Neg is running." He said.

"Perfect. Get some morphine on board, and then call Orthopedics for a consult." The painkiller was a soothing rush as it quickly started to take effect, dulling out the pain and adding another level of cotton to his brain.

"Blaine." Yet another voice near his head caught his attention. "Who do you want us to call for you first?"

"My mom." Blaine said on a whisper. He hadn't thought about it before, so concerned with the health of his boyfriend, but as soon as he mentioned her, Blaine wanted nothing more than to have his mom there to hold him tight and make it all better as she had when he was a five year old with a skinned knee. "Marie Anderson."

With prompting, he repeated her phone number. "And Kurt? Do you know who he would want to be here with him."

"His dad." Blaine whispered.

"Do you know his name or number? We're still waiting on the police for full details." The man asked, keeping his tone soothing, even as he had to step out of the way to let them take an x-ray of Blaine's shoulder.

As soon as the man was back at his side, Blaine shook his head. "I don't know his number. It's in my phone, but I don't know- Name. I can give you his name. It's Hummel. Burt Hummel."

"The congressman?" That was one of the women in the room, but Blaine couldn't tell who.

"Alright, Blaine. When we get your mom on the phone, we'll let you know. I'm sure she'll want to talk to you." The man said, not responding to whoever it had been.

"I- I want to talk to her." Blaine said, trying to keep the tears that were suddenly threatening to pour down his cheeks from falling.

"You'll get to." The man promised, standing up as soon as he was done jotting his notes onto a clipboard.

"We're going to go ahead and move you into a more comfortable room while we wait for the orthopedics consult to come take a look at your shoulder, alright?"

Blaine nodded, sinking further down onto the bed. There was nothing more he could do right now, and letting his eyes slide shut was just so tempting.

* * *

 

Blaine fought through the haze of pain killers to focus on the rumble of a familiar voice outside his door.

"I can't tell you anything about his condition, Congressman, but I can let you see him, as long as he wants you there. The last time I checked on him, Blaine was sleeping." A female voice, his nurse, replied to whatever had been asked.

"I think he'll want to see me." It was Burt's voice. "I know he'll want to hear about how my son is doing." If the medicine wasn't dragging him down so far, Blaine would have shouted out at hearing that, told Burt that he _needed_ to know that.

"He's been asking about that every time he's aware enough." The nurse supplied before she paused. "From what I hear, he's the reason your son didn't bleed out before the paramedics got there. He'd been shot himself, but he kept pressure on your boy's wound."

Blaine could imagine Burt's nod at that. He missed anything else that was said, but soon enough his boyfriend's father was slipping into a chair he'd pulled up to Blaine's bedside. "Kurt?" Blaine asked, not even letting the man say anything else.

"Kurt just came out of surgery. He's still in recovery, so they haven't let me in to see him yet. The doctor thinks he'd going to be alright, though." Burt reached up to loosen his tie, until it was hanging loosely around his neck.

"He's going to be okay?" Blaine asked, not able to stop the tear from rolling down his cheek this time.

"That's what they're telling me. Unless something goes wrong, he'll be just fine with enough time." Burt looked Blaine over, taking in the arm held tightly to his side in a sling for a moment. "How are you doing?"

"Alright. I'm fine." Blaine's voice shook as he tried to convince Burt of that.

Burt just raised his eyebrows over, reaching out to take Blaine's hand, careful of his IV. "How are you really, son?"

"I want to be fine." Blaine said, sniffling back more tears. "I just want my mom."

"Have you talked to her?" Burt asked, his often gruff voice gentle.

"Yeah. She and my dad were in Chicago for a conference, but they're coming home. She talked to my doctor, and then we talked. I just wish she was coming sooner. I wish Chicago wasn't so far away." Blaine admitted.

"I bet she does, too." Burt pointed out. "I was already in a car on the way from the airport in Columbus back to Lima when I heard the news. I never wanted to be home more in my life."

The tears started in earnest then, and Blaine pulled his hand out of Burt's to try to wipe them away. "I'm sorry, sir. I tried. I tried to keep Kurt safe. I really, really did. But I did such a bad job. I should have been able to keep him from getting hurt. It's all my fault. I should be the-"

"No. You shouldn't." Burt interrupted, reaching over to try to pull Blaine into an awkward hug. He pulled back quickly at the hiss of pain that escaped Blaine's lips at his shoulder being jarred. "Neither of you should be. It's not your fault though, son. The only one at fault here is the idiot who had the gun." Burt looked Blaine over. "And it isn't as if you came out of this unscathed yourself."

Blaine's tears left tracks on his cheeks as he looked over at Burt. "You don't blame me?"

"Why would I blame you? You weren't the one who shot Kurt, were you?" At Blaine's quick shake of his head, Burt continued. "From what the nurse told me, I should be thanking you for saving his life, not blaming you for the fact that he got hurt."

"But he was only there because of me." Blaine rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand. "I was the one who wanted to spend lunch studying in the library. Kurt wanted to go to the auditorium to practice a song. If we had, we would have had better places to hide."

"Don't lose yourself in what ifs, Blaine." Burt insisted. "I'm certainly not going to blame you because you convinced Kurt to go study."

The nurse stepped in from the hallway, giving them both a soothing smile as she stepped up to check Blaine's vitals. "I don't mean to interrupt, but we need to get you ready to go up to surgery, Blaine. We got the approval your father faxed in, and we finally have a free operating room."

"Surgery?" Burt asked Blaine, not expecting an answer to that from the nurse.

"I guess they need to put the bone in my shoulder back together." Blaine said softly, looking over to the nurse. "I'm ready."

Burt stood. "I'll leave you to that, then." He said, reaching over to ruffle Blaine's curls where they'd come loose from the gel that had held them that morning. "I'm going to go check on Kurt. I'll find you later to let you know how he's doing."

Blaine nodded gratefully. "Tell him-" Blaine trailed off, unsure of quite what to say.

"I'll remind him of how much you love him." Burt supplied, giving Blaine one last fond look before he turned to head out.

The nurse stepped back from checking Blaine's IV. "Let me go get an orderly, and we'll get you transferred up to the O.R. You're doing a great job hanging in there, Blaine."

Blaine just nodded, letting his head sag back against the hospital bed. Talking to Burt had felt good, but he sincerely hoped that his mother would be there by the time he woke up from surgery. She was the one he really wanted saying reassuring things to him and ruffling up his hair.

* * *

 

Blaine blinked his eyes open again, fighting against the now-familiar fog of painkillers. His first thoughts were formed of confusion. Why were the walls such a bright blue? He would never paint his room this color. Then it all came crashing back down. The fear. The panic. The throbbing pain. He sucked in a ragged breath.

"Blaine?" A hand he hadn't even felt in his rubbed over his thumb. Blaine looked over to see who it was and tears started to stream down his cheeks. The petite Asian woman in the chair was everything he'd been wanting since he'd gotten to the hospital.

"Mommy?" He wasn't even ashamed to call her that, despite the fact that he'd stopped using that word ten years before. Blaine couldn't contain it any longer. He wasn't sure how long he cried, but by the time his sobs had turned back into simply wet cheeks, his mother had climbed into the bed beside him, holding him close in the best way she could find without jarring the monitoring equipment or the arm held tightly in a sling.

"I thought I was going to die." Blaine said into his mother's shoulder, voice quivering. "And then I thought Kurt _was_ dying. What would I do without him?"

"What would I do without you?" Blaine felt his mother kiss the top of his head. "I wish I could have been here for you sooner."

"Me, too." Blaine admitted. "I just wanted you here with me. Burt came to see me, though."

"He did?" Mrs. Anderson sounded a little bit surprised as she pulled away enough to face her son now that he'd calmed down. She used her hands to wipe her own tears from her cheeks as she watched him.

"Before they took me to the OR. He couldn't see Kurt yet, so he came to see me." Blaine hesitated a second before he asked, "Can you find out how Kurt is doing? I need to see him. I just- I can't get the image of him bleeding all over the library floor out of my head."

"I'll see what I can do." His mom promised, giving him one more quick squeeze before she slipped off the bed. "Your father ran by the house to get some paperwork we needed and an overnight bag for me. Is there anything you want him to bring over?" She asked, ducking into the attached bathroom for just a moment to wet a paper towel.

"My laptop? Something to read?" Blaine said after that moment to think. "What I want most is my phone, but it was in my backpack. I don't know how we-" He let that trail off, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

Mrs. Anderson leaned over the edge of the bed, using the paper towel to wipe Blaine's cheeks clean of the signs left by his sobbing fit. "I'll have your father find out in the morning."

A nurse knocked on the door frame before he poked his head inside. "Blaine? It's good to see you awake. I'm James. I know you've probably gone through a million different nurses and doctors today, but now you're stuck with me until the shift change in the morning."

"Morning?" Blaine blinked, eyes finding the window finally and peering out at the dark night sky. "It's nighttime."

"That it is." James gave Mrs. Anderson a friendly smile as he scooted by her to check Blaine's vital signs. He was a younger man, probably in his mid to late twenties with short almost white blond hair. Cute, the back of Blaine's drug addled mind supplied. Blaine's eyes focused on the nurse's scrubs as something hit him. Spiderman. The man was wearing a superhero scrub top.

"Oh God. I'm in the kid section aren't I?" Blaine struggled to sit and get a better look around the room, letting out a groan of pain at the fire that sent radiating out of his shoulder.

"Here, let me help you. Use the bed to support you." James said patiently, using the remote to move Blaine into a semi-upright position. "You are in one of the pediatrics rooms. There are benefits to that, though. We've got better technology to entertain yourself with. All the rooms are private, so you don't have to worry about a five year old bugging you, and we have a much better set up for your mom or dad to stay the night here with you if you want that." James turned to address Mrs. Anderson at that. "The couch folds out flat, and there are blankets and pillows in the cabinet there. If you need help with getting it ready or you need anything like toiletries, let me know."

"See? Not so horrible." His mother informed Blaine, reaching out take his hand back in hers as the nurse stepped away. "You are sixteen, honey."

"For, what, another couple of weeks?" Blaine pointed out, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Which would make you seventeen and still stuck with us." James pointed right back out in return. "Why don't you try to get some sleep? I'll be back to check on you throughout the night, but there's a call button on that remote if either of you need me sooner."

* * *

 

Blaine dozed lightly through the rest of the night, halfway waking up to the sound of his father's voice joining his mother's at one point. After their tones lulled him right back under, he found himself pulled back out several more times by James, adding doses of medication to his I.V. or checking his vitals. Uninterrupted sleep it wasn't, but Blaine did manage to fall back under each time.

When he woke more completely on his own, Blaine carefully used the remote to sit himself back up again. A look to the window showed sunlight streaming along the edges of the closed blinds, so it had to be at least six or seven. His mother had ended up making up a bed on the couch, and Blaine could see that she was still asleep.

He sank his head back against the pillow behind him, staring up at the ceiling for a minute. He didn't want to wake up his mom, but, God, he had to have something to distract him. He blew out a deep breath, trying to release the fear and terror that filled his mind in every quiet moment.

Blaine picked up the remote. The same one that controlled the hospital bed also worked on the TV. That could work. His mother was generally a deep sleeper after all. He lowered the volume immediately and started flipping through the channels. He paused on a rerun of _Tabitha Takes Over_ for a moment and then flipped on. That reminded him too much of Kurt. The headline on CNN caught his eye, and Blaine knew he should keep going. He knew it. But there was no way he could make himself not listen to the coverage of "The Lima Shooting". There were too many things he still didn't know.

_"As you have no doubt heard by now, a student at McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio took to the halls of the school with a gun yesterday around 11:15 a.m. The motive of the shooter is not yet fully clear, and police are still investigating the event. What we do know is that, Martin Brandston had been reported absent from his morning classes. He apparently entered the school just before the violence occurred. We know that he avoided the crowded lunchroom, instead singling out teachers and students who were spending their lunch break in other parts of the school, before he took his own life when he heard the police arrive."_

Blaine stared at the picture on the screen. It was shocking to see that face. He hadn't even looked up the day before to see who had the gun and now? He knew it wouldn't have made a difference. This wasn't someone he knew. It wasn't someone he'd ever heard Kurt mention. For all the torment Kurt had received at McKinley over the years, this had come from someone new. Someone he never would have expected.

_"New information has been emerging over the course of the evening and through the night about the identity of the victims. This information had been originally withheld to allow authorities time to notify the families of the victims. We now know the identity of all six of the people killed, which included four students and two staff members."_

Blaine stared up at the screen, transfixed as they continued on to show pictures of each of the deceased. His math teacher, who had been one of his favorites at McKinley. The librarian.

_"We do not yet know the identity of all ten of the injured, but we do know that eight of them were students, many of whom were studying in the library at the time of the attack. Included in this number is the son of Ohio Congressman Burt Hummel. According to hospital administrators, Kurt Hummel is currently in serious but stable condition."_

Blaine let out a long breath at that. Kurt. Serious condition didn't mean dying. CNN wouldn't lie about that, would they? Blaine looked back up to the screen to see his own school picture, along with several students who had been working at tables nearby.

The door creaked open, and Blaine fumbled for the remote, embarrassed to be caught watching news about himself. "Blaine?" A voice called in softly as a woman stepped through the door.

Blaine shut the TV off quickly as he tried his best to smile over. "Carole." He greeted quietly, shifting his gaze to see that his mother was still sleeping on the fold out couch. "Is Kurt...?"

"Kurt's stable." Carole said, moving to sink down into the chair at Blaine's side so that she could keep her voice low. "Your mother got here?"

"Sometime last night. She was here when I woke up from surgery." Blaine said, sinking back into the bed in relief. "Thank you for coming to see me." He added, politeness kicking in.

"I bribed my way past the nurse's desk with donuts." Carole joked, before she added more seriously. "Burt and I brought some to the nurses in the ER and in the ICU as well. I know this isn't easy for them, either, so it seemed like the least we could do to say thank you."

"Working here probably helps you bribe your way places." Blaine pointed out, biting his lip for a moment before he pressed forward. "I don't- No one has been able to really give me any details about Kurt. Please?"

Carole gave him a sympathetic look. "You must be dying to know more then." She said. "Let's see. You know he had surgery?" Blaine nodded. "One of the bullets fractured a rib, which in turn punctured his lung. The other one did some damage to his liver. They repaired that damage in surgery, but they had to put in a chest tube for the lung. He's been in the ICU all night on a ventilator."

Blaine gulped, trying not to let himself panic. He tried to suck in a deep breath but stopped with a whimper. No breathing deeply enough to have to move his shoulder. Check. "Is he awake?"

Carole reached over to smooth through his curls, which must be horribly matted or crazy by now, in an instinctive mom gesture. "They have him somewhat sedated. He did wake up more fully, but he was confused and tried to tug at the vent. One of the reasons I came by right now is that they took Kurt for some more testing. They're hoping to move him from the ventilator to an oxygen mask today, which would probably also mean moving him to a regular room. It would definitely mean they would stop the sedatives before they did it. There was no point in us sitting in an empty glass room, so after we ate I sent Burt home to shower and came to see you."

"That's- That's all good right?" Blaine asked before he added, "What time is it?"

"It is, at least in light of what happened. It's good." Carole confirmed before she glanced up. "There is a- well, that wasn't good room design was it. The clock is behind you. It's about 7:45."

The door creaked open again and James stepped inside, followed by a woman in a scrubs covered in bright water color-esque flowers. "Carole?" James greeted before he lowered his tone with an apologetic wince as he spotted Mrs. Anderson still sleeping. "Sorry. How are you doing this morning, Blaine?" He asked before giving Carole a quick look again. "What brings you here before visiting hours?"

"Pretty sore." Blaine admitted before he turned his head to look at the blanket covered form of his mother. "It's kind of always been a running joke around my house how deeply my mother sleeps, so don't worry too much about it. I know she didn't fall asleep until really late." And he knew that even if she wasn't awake, just the fact that she was there was more comforting than he'd be willing to admit at his age.

"I think you must have been the only one on duty at the time that I didn't not so subtly sneak by at the desk to get in here." Carole said lightly, giving the second nurse a smile as well. "Blaine is my stepson Kurt's-" Carole broke off a second to check with Blaine, his silent nod giving her permission to be open with it. "Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend. I wanted to see how he was doing." She turned to Blaine to give him a quick smile. "I'll have Finn text an update to the rest of New Directions when I see him. I know they were worried about you. You ought to expect visitors later."

"They'd want to visit me?" Blaine asked a little bit startled. Mike he'd expected, probably with Tina at his side. Maybe Rachel. He still didn't feel like a real part of the rest of the group, though. Not a real part of New Directions but yet not a Warbler anymore. Not after what had happened in January.

James cleared his throat. "I suppose I can manage to not kick you out then. And this is Angie, Blaine. She'll be your nurse for the day. I'm about to go off shift." He said with good humor toward both Carole and Blaine before he paused. "Your sons?"

"Finn was at the school, but he was in the lunchroom. He's fine. Kurt-" Carole's voice broke, and she had to pause, pulling it back together, at least in front of Blaine. "Kurt's up in the ICU. He's pulling through, though. He's a tough kid." She reached over to smooth her hand through Blaine's hair again. "You were together when it happened, weren't you?"

Blaine nodded quietly, trying to hold it together at the memories and fear that dredged back up. "Can I go see him today?" Blaine asked hopefully instead toward the two nurses.

Angie spoke up with a quick glance toward Carole. "We'll see what we can do this afternoon. I'll have to clear it with your doctor when he's here later on rounds. I want to get you up out of bed today, but you'd have to agree to a wheelchair for a visit, unless they happen to move him in next door."

Blaine shook his head. "Kurt's already eighteen. He doesn't have to come to the kiddie floor." Blaine didn't hesitate about accepting the possible terms of the offer though. "A wheelchair is fine. Anything. I'd agree to anything to get to go see him." Blaine did hesitate though before he mentioned, face flushing a deep red, "I do need to use the restroom, though. Can I get up to do that, or-?"

James stepped forward. "Why don't I help with that before I clock out?" He suggested, getting a grateful look from the teen. "We can definitely try getting you out of bed to start with."

 

 

* * *

 

Just the trip to the bathroom had left Blaine sore and tired, but after another dose of painkillers and the nap that brought, Blaine was back to resting fairly comfortably. His father had stopped by with the newspaper and lunch for his mother. Blaine had been glad to see him, but their connection was more stilted. His mother had always been the warmer family member, his father the disciplinarian. Blaine knew his father loved him, but his wasn't the shoulder Blaine wanted to cry on.

Blaine fumbled with the sports page, trying to flip to the local sports scores with one hand was harder than he'd thought it would be. He tossed it into his lap with a sigh as his mother's cell phone rang.

"Oh, hi!" Blaine couldn't help but listen in to half the conversation as she picked it up.  "Yes, his father brought his laptop in. Sure, I think that's a great idea. I'm glad you thought of it. Just give me a second to let it boot up and get signed in. Talk to you soon."

Blaine stared over as she hung up, moving to grab his laptop out of a bag his dad had brought. "Log yourself in." His mother told him, setting it on the table that she turned to sit over the bed.

Blaine typed in his password as he looked over curiously. "Do I get to know what this is about?"

"Soon enough." She gave him a little conspiratorial smile. "Then log into your Skype account."

Blaine did as he was told letting out a little gasp when he quickly saw the message inviting him into conversation with Kurt. "Kurt?"

"Not yet. It's me, kid." Burt's rough voice came across as he tilted a laptop on his end so that Blaine could see his boyfriend's father in the screen. "Kurt's asleep, but I thought you still might like to get a chance to see him. This seemed like the next best thing to being here. They took that tube out of his throat, and they just settled him into his own room a few minutes ago, so we can use the wifi now."

Blaine nodded vigorously. "I would like to see him. Yes. Just to see with my own eyes that he's still there."

Burt nodded back, turning the computer so that Kurt would be in the eyesight of the camera. "They've still got him on oxygen, but he was totally awake and making sense fifteen minutes ago."

Blaine didn't even reply at first, just drinking up the sight of his boyfriend. He was pale, paler than normal, with an oxygen mask over his face, but he was clearly asleep. Just the sight of him made something unclench in Blaine's gut. Some fear that maybe everyone had been lying to him and Kurt was actually dead or dieing slipped out of his system. Kurt lying in that hospital bed, breathing in bottled oxygen, might have been the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever seen. "Kurt." He whispered.

* * *

 

After Blaine had his own lunch of hospital food, the sound of a knock came at the door once more. "Come in!" Blaine called out, almost reflexively by now. It wasn't the nurse he was expecting it to be, instead it was Mike and Tina stepping in with nervous looks on their faces. Blaine grabbed for the remote, carefully moving the bed so that he was sitting in a more upright position. "You came to visit me?"

"We did." Tina said with a nod as she slid into the seat next to Blaine's bed. "We wanted to come see how you were doing. And well, Rachel is up with Kurt. I didn't want to be any part of that scene."

Mike nodded fervent agreement as he pulled another chair up next to Tina's. "Because it will be a scene."

Blaine winced as well. "Any chance she won't come down here next?" He joked, trying to finish breaking the ice. Mike and Tina were sitting too upright in their chairs. It hurt to think that they weren't comfortable just talking to him.

Mrs. Anderson broke into the conversation. "Why don't I for a walk? You enjoy the time with your friends."

Blaine nodded at his mother. By now, he assumed that she probably needed a break from staring at these same four walls and trying to put up with him. Hell, he'd take a break from the overly cheerful bright blue walls if he could. Freaking pediatrics ward. "We'll be fine for awhile without you."

Tina nodded with a smile for Blaine's mother. "We'll keep an eye on him." She turned back to give Blaine a more real smile. "I'm sure she is. You are her current preferred duet partner, after all. Or is she back to preferring Finn? Where does their relationship stand?"

"Last I heard, they were still engaged. I think that has to make Finn her preferred duet partner, like, by default or something." Blaine decided as his mother slipped out.

"Does it?" Tina turned to give Mike a look over. "So someday, if we get engaged, does that mean you have to start singing all kinds of duets with me?"

Mike raised his eyebrows back at her. "I hope you're not expecting a ring tomorrow." He said softly. "I don't want to graduate high school already engaged. Someday, though? I suppose you'd have to keep helping me with my singing if that's so."

Blaine smiled between his friends, relaxing under their banter. "Thank you guys for coming. I just- I needed a distraction. It's nice to have a conversation that feels normal, for lack of a better word."

"Do you- would you rather talk about it or pretend it didn't happen?" Tina asked, awkwardness back in her body language.

"Somewhere in between?" Blaine finally decided after a moment's pause. "I don't want to pretend like it never happened. I don't want to avoid it, or any questions you have, but I don't want to spend all day talking about it either. Does that make sense?"

Mike nodded. "I think it does."

"I can't get it out of my head, but I wish I could." Blaine said softly. "I feel like avoiding it would be like asking you not to think about the pink elephant."

It was Tina's turn to nod her head. "How are you doing? It was your shoulder that got hurt?"

Blaine glanced down to his the arm both in a sling and strapped to his body to keep him from being able to move it at all. "The bullet went all the way through my shoulder. It broke through the bone there. They did surgery to put it back together, and eventually I'll need physical therapy. So I guess how I'm doing? I'm healing."

Mike nodded. "I guess when that happens in all the movies and the guy gets back up and keeps going, I'll just laugh at the screen."

"You and me both." Blaine said before he hesitated. "I did keep going for awhile. Adrenaline does crazy things to your body. I just- I knew I had to hold it together, had to keep Kurt together, until someone came for us. But the movies where the guy is back out there after twenty four hours fighting crime again? So bogus. They haven't even let me go up to Kurt's room yet."

"That must be killing you." Tina noted. "You haven't seen him at all?"

Blaine shook his head. "Not in person. Burt and my mom set our laptops up for Skype earlier, but Kurt was asleep. It was just so freeing to see him though, and know for sure that they weren't lying to me about his condition. I trust my mom. I trust Carole and Burt, but I just couldn't get the thought out of my head that there was something wrong they were hiding from me."

"We could break you out of here." Mike offered, eying the IV still attached to Blaine's arm. "We might have to hijack a wheelchair from somewhere, though."

Blaine laughed freely. "Tomorrow. Come up with a plan, and if they still haven't let me up there tomorrow, we'll implement it." Blaine decided. "The doctor is supposed to come by later this afternoon. I'm hoping he'll clear me to go up and visit. My nurse promised to take me, even if it's close to the end of visiting hours. I think it helps that they all know Carole."

"Hospital nepotism?" Tina asked with a lighter tone. "I think I would take full advantage of that if I were you."

"If it gets me to Kurt's bedside, I definitely will." Blaine said, eyes traveling back toward the door as his nurse spoke up as she walked in.

"Friends come to visit?" She asked cheerfully as she moved first to change out the bag connected to his I.V.

Blaine nodded. "This is Mike and Tina. We're all in Glee club together at school. And this is Angie."

"She's the poor soul that got assigned to you today?" Tina joked.

"Aw. Blaine's an easy patient. Other than asking when he can go visit his boyfriend every five minutes, he could even be a model patient." Angie insisted, moving to check Blaine's vital signs.

"I feel like someone is going to pat me on the head and call me a good boy soon," Blaine commented.

"Well..." Angie drawled. She glanced between Blaine and his friends. "If you are at all interested at some point, we do have an X-Box we can set up in here. It might be a bit tough one handed, but that'd just build talent, wouldn't it?"

Blaine shared a look with Mike before he nodded. "That would actually be great. Even if I just have to watch." Even as Tina muttered something about boys under her breath, Blaine continued on. "If I'm going to be stuck on the kids' floor, I better take advantage of it."

"I'll finally be able to beat you easily." Mike joked over.

"Bring it on. Maybe I'm good enough to beat you one handed." Blaine retorted, letting himself be distracted from the fear and the pain for a few minutes by being able to joke and just socialize with his friends. It was a wonderful kind of freedom.

 

* * *

 

Physically awkward attempts at playing video games came to a halt when the orthopedic surgeon appeared in Blaine's room. "We'll come back to see you again later." Tina spoke up for both of them, leaning over to give Blaine a quick hug. "Here or at home, wherever you are."

Blaine nodded his thanks before he attention was pulled away to talk to the doctor. After many questions, a changing of his bandages, and much pleading on Blaine's part, Blaine was officially cleared to hitch a wheel chair ride up to Kurt's room.

Blaine turned the pleading over to Angie, his nurse. "Can we go now?"

Mrs. Anderson intercepted that question with a laugh. "Hold your horses, Blaine. Let me call the Hummels first and find out if it's a good time." She shook her head at the antsy look on Blaine's face. "I know you've been dying to see him for a whole day now, but what if he's out of the room for tests? Then you'd be missing your chance altogether."

Blaine sighed his agreement, letting his mother move off to make the call on her cell. The Andersons and Hummels had long since exchanged numbers. Blaine was often sure that they also exchanged intel on their kids, or at least his mother and Kurt's parents did.

"Why don't we get you ready for the trip?" Angie suggested. "That way you'll be ready to go as soon as you're cleared." She paused to look Blaine over. "I can't do anything about the hospital gown itself, but I could commandeer a pair of scrub bottoms to go with it. Sound good?"

Blaine nodded. "Not having my backside on display the whole trip sounds preferable." He agreed, though his attention was distracted by trying to listen in on his mother.

"Scrub bottoms and maybe a comb for your hair. I'll be right back." Angie flashed him one last smile on her way out the door.

"We'll see you in about fifteen or twenty minutes then." Blaine heard his mother say as she flipped the phone closed. "Kurt has apparently requested a few minutes to 'pretty up'." Mrs. Anderson turned to tell her son, with an amused smile on her face.

"I think that Angie has the same mission here." Blaine reached his working arm up to pat at his hair. "I just don't think she realizes how hopeless it is." The gel had been washed free from Blaine's hair, leaving a tangled mop of curls.

"I like it when you leave your hair free to breath." His mother teased, moving to sit on the foot of Blaine's bed. "And no, I will not have your father bring gel to the hospital when he brings your new phone by at dinner time."

* * *

 

By the time they waited for an elevator and made the trip up, it was closer to the twenty minute end of that time frame before Blaine's mother wheeled him through the door of Kurt's room.

Blaine's eyes caught on Kurt in the bed and held there, oblivious to any fuss the two sets of parents might be making. Kurt already had more color to him that he had earlier that day. The oxygen mask had been replaced by a cannula in his nose. Other than an I.V. in his hand and an oxygen monitor on his finger, any other tubes were hidden by the blankets of Kurt's hospital bed.

Kurt met Blaine's eyes and a feeling of relief sored through Blaine's system. No matter how many times he'd been assured that Kurt was really on the mend, he hadn't truly believed it. Not until now as he was staring at his boyfriend with own eyes. "Hi."

"Hi? That's all you have to say?" Kurt gave a pale imitation of his usual smirk. "We both face death in the eye and all you have to say is 'Hi'?"

Burt pulled the chair beside Kurt's bed out of the way, letting Mrs. Anderson wheel Blaine's chair into its place. Blaine could have shifted over into the chair, but moving the IV would have been a greater challenge. "Is I love you, a better start?" Blaine asked, reaching out to clasp Kurt's hand in his.

Kurt pretended to weigh that. "It's a step in the right direction." He squeezed Blaine's hand, careful of the IV. "It's a good thing our IV's are on the same side. Otherwise we might get entangled."

"Can I make a cheesy comment about our lives already being entangled?" Blaine asked, interlacing his fingers with Kurt's.

Burt cleared his throat. "So Blaine, it's good to see you up."

Blaine flushed. He'd completely forgotten the presence of both of their parents. "It's good to be up. They stuck me in pediatrics, like a little kid." He whined to Kurt, feeling free and loose. Everything in life was alright in this minute. The pain and the fuzz of the narcotics in his system could be forgotten in favor of knowing the love of his life was feeling well enough to joke with him.

Kurt just smirked over. "Poor baby. Literally."

Mrs. Anderson looked between the two boys then over to the Hummels. "Well, I don't know about you two, but I think this might be a time where I just need a cup of bad cafeteria coffee."

Carole caught on quickly, interlacing her arm into Burt's. "I can do one better. I can show you the coffee cart hidden away on the main floor. Much superior coffee." She steered Burt out as he glanced back, giving the two boys their privacy.

Kurt looked back to his boyfriend, reaching up to pat at his hair self-consciously as he caught Blaine staring. "I tried to clean up for you. I don't think it worked."

Blaine just shook his head, his own wild curls forgotten. "You are the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life." He said sincerely.

"Now you're just laying it on thick." Kurt noted, though a smile crept across his face.

"I'm telling the truth. I thought-" Blaine stopped as his voice broke. "I thought you were going to die in my arms. You were so still, and you were bleeding so much. I just - I don't know what I'd do without you, Kurt."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand tight in his. "I don't mean for you to have to find out."

"Please don't ever scare me like that again." Blaine met Kurt's eyes as he tried to keep the tears out of his own. "Leave me for New York if you have to. I'll support you. I'll visit you. I'll follow you as soon as I can. Just don't _leave_ me."

"I won't. Not until we're old and senile and gray." Kurt insisted with as much emphasis as he could muster. "I don't ever want to stop loving you." Kurt's head sank back against his pillow. Just putting forth that much effort was exhausting.

"And I'll never stop loving you." Blaine promised, pulling his hand away from Kurt's finally so that he could wipe the tears from his eyes. "No matter how far apart we find ourselves, nothing could be worse than this." With his vision free from tears, Blaine could see Kurt's eyes starting to drift closed. "Rest, love, alright? I'll be here until they make me leave, and then I'll be back as soon as they'll let me."

Kurt nodded, not holding back his yawn anymore. "Will you sing to me?" He asked softly. "I've wanted nothing more than to hear your voice all day."

Blaine couldn't help but oblige that. Breathing too deeply still jarred his shoulder, so his voice came out soft and a bit breathy, but Blaine made a snap decision of what to sing anyway.

_Look into my eyes, you will see_

_What you mean to me_

_Search your heart, search your soul_

_And when you find me there you'll search no more_

"You're such a sap." Kurt noted as he recognized the song. An affection smile stayed on his lips even as he let his eyes drift closed.

Blaine nodded at the comment, accepting the title even as he continued the song.

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_

_You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for_

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do, I do it for you_

Blaine finished the rest of the love song, letting the notes trail away into the quiet of the hospital room. He sank back into the wheelchair, taking the moment to watch Kurt sleep. He could feel the knot inside his chest loosen bit by bit as he watched the lines of tension fade from Kurt's face as he fell deeper and deeper asleep. They had a long road still to travel, but Blaine knew that together they could do it. In his heart, he could feel that they would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Song credits go to Bryan Adams for "I Do It For You".


End file.
